So I’m reading my romance novel and things are starting to heat up… wink, wink… you know what I mean. And then two words jump up and throw me way out of my happy place.
You’ve heard of Vlad the Impaler? He was the seriously mixed up Voivod
e of Wallachia back in the 1400’s. Apparently, he “executed by impalement” a lot of people to impose his rule. His family name was Dracul. Yep, that’s where Dracula comes from. Wikipedia
Shudder, writhe, wretch. So much for that sexy feeling.
I love bread. I love to mix together a few simple ingredients that will turn into heaven from my oven. I even paraphrased an ode to bread. To do it right, kneading requires some upper body strength. On a warm day, I “perspire” when I knead bread. When I think of the effort of kneading applied to human flesh… I cross my arms protectively over my chest.
So NOT a turn-on!
Romance writers, please use kinder words in your sex scenes and leave Vlad, and his baker, out of it. Thank you.
© 2017 Joan Leacott
photo of delicious fogaca © 2005 Paula Santos via Wikimedia Commons